Hi, I'm Shane

The Next Heir

Big whoop.

Everybody says I'm lazy.

If preferring napping to doing homework, sitting to standing and not cleaning to cleaning makes me lazy, then I'm lazy. But let me let you in on a secret: I'm the only one in this giant house with a job. So who's lazy now?

Gramps is retired.

 Don't let his sexy eyes fool you. He's really old. But since he's an alien, this is his chosen look. That's why my little sis has called him Grampoid since forever.

Mom's job has always been to take care of us.

And browbeating us.

And helping us find our "center", whatever that is.

  

 Sallie who everybody thinks is such a serious student. Genius even. . .

. . . but this is how she likes to spend her time. Playing with dolls. And I'm the one wasting my time.

All dad does all day is sit, eat and annoy mom. Sure he's a famous bestselling author but really-- 

Sit

eat

annoy

Can you tell from that last picture that he's annoying mom with grey hair? That's because he had a birthday recently.

Ha ha! Every time I see this picture I crack right up! That's dad, enjoying his birthday cake and that's Gramps begging him to put a shirt on. You'd never guess who's the father and who's the son in this picture.

There he is, sitting with his Simulitzer, and two Sim Newbery awards.

I may feel a touch guilty looking at this picture, what with my dad surrounded by awards and my homework tossed on the floor behind him, undone.

Hey, I have to unwind after a full day of school and the job. The job which, I may have already mentioned, I'm the only one with.

That's me and my fellow barista, Sean. We wear hats to swim because it's so ironic. Hats in the pool-- get it? Of course you don't. Nobody gets it. That's why it's cool.

Me and my friends like to drink, hang and then maybe drink some more. We're getting a band together too. My mom made me take piano lessons when I was a kid, and I crushed that. But now all I wanna do is shred my ax!

Had a cool birthday party. It would have been cooler if my parents had spent more money on it. After my birthday I found out I really, really like money.

Co-worker Sean was at my party. So was Michaela. It was weird. Before I blew out the candles, Michaela was freakin' hot. Then, after I blew them out, she was like, a kid or something.

Sean, on the other hand, was there to tell me that the coffee shop we work at wanted me to stay on full time. Why not? I like to drink.





So what if I'm lazy? It's not like I have to do anything with my life. I'm the heir. All I gotta do is stay in this big ass house and have one baby. Easy-peasy.

The final me: Lazy, geeky and materialistic.