Sallie Says

Grampoid Is Cool

And there are too many birthdays.

Hi! I'm Sallie Same. The last time you saw me I was disbelieving my brother.

 Turns out, everything he said was the proved-by-Einstein truth!

My brother Shane is the first born, so he's gotta worry about legacy stuff. Not me, I'm a spare. I love being the spare! I get to be the princess and not to have to bother with being an heiress. Although you wouldn't know it by the way mom and dad get after us.

Why is mom stressing me? I'm not gonna do nothing. This is why I got this here chapter to narrate. I'm a spare, no one cares! Except mom!

My mom, she's super spacey. Allavasuddenly, she decided she needed to ohm her insides. I dunno what that means except she stopped throwing crazy parties and started staring into a mirror instead.

She also started 'finding herself with paint', which is hilarious cuz it's not like nobody couldn't find her without the paint. Dad finds her where ever she is.

Me 'n Shane used ta hang out together all the time. 'Specially when he became a Genius in drawing and piano with 4 days left over for him to do whatever! He didn't do nothing but be lazy-- cuz that's what he is, L-A-Z-Y-- until:

That's Shane now. Not only is he lazy, but now he's a geek who wants to make drinks for everybody. What is that? I don't understand. I'm just a kid.



Speaking of birthdays: Dad had one and nobody remembered. NOBODY! Not even the LUAWRT (that's short for the Lady Up Above Who Runs Things). It didn't even phase Dad. As long as he gets to spoil all of us by buying things, not even a forgotten birthday gets him down.

"The two of you kids are getting older, so you're gonna need a grown-up bedroom. That you will use once you age up! And how about a nice Transcendental Peace Room for your mom. And everybody is so creative now. How about a Fine Arts Room? I don't see why not. Just because none of my books are bestsellers doesn't mean they don't sell well."



That's my dad talking in the paragraph above. He really likes spending money. It's one of his traits. He got it from Grampoid.

So, was I supposed to wait until I was a teenager before I moved into my cool, quiet room?

Of course not, I'm a Princess. Look at my crown!



Mom had a birthday too. We got her a cake and she blew out the candles, but she said she needed to "get back to holding back the years."

The sugar-less carrot cake we had on her birthday was just gross! I didn't say anything out loud about it, cuz I'm a good kid.



Now we're up to the part where Shane told me the God's honest truth about our family and I didn't believe him-- at first. For one thing, I never saw Grandma. Mom, Dad, Shane and Grandoid all say she came to visit after she died. I don't remember but I was told she came to visit me in my crib.

Grandoid. . . he's sumphin special.

That's him taking off on his final mission to get his nerd brain. So not only did Grandiod enter and win the Mr. Universe contest, he also got his second wish of being a rocket scientist superhero! He kind of cheated, though.



See, he was a rocket engineer way before he came to Oasis Springs. In fact, that's how he got to Oasis Springs!

He helped me big time on my Whiz Kid wish. 


The truth be told, we all knew he went to Grandma's grave to cry every single day. I don't know why Mom and Dad wanted him to stop. It's not like he didn't take off almost every day to try and visit her in the sky.

Even with Grandoid's help, I couldn't beat my lazy brother in reaching my goal. He did it with 4 days to spare. I, the spare, only had 3 days left. But I didn't use them moping around the house like Shane did. No sirree, Bob! Me and Alexander Goth went on a No Cooties Date. That's like a grown up date except NO KISSING OR TOUCHING OR COOTIES! 

We had a lot of fun that day. And then, after that, I had to get older. And getting older when you're a spare means nobody cares about you. Everybody's waiting until you're old enough to shuffle off onto someone else's lot. 


Not me! I'm a Princess and the LUAWRT loves me cuz I'm so adorable.

I thought the plastic glasses was cool, but then again, they tell me I'm very childish. The LUAWRT hated them, though. So I got a new look.




Hi! I'm Sallie Same, a childish teenaged loner whiz kid whose gonna run a gaming empire one day. That's my goal.

Well, that's it. The last bit of attention anybody'll pay me. That's all right though. I'm a loner